Twenty and Grateful

The essence of birthdays is probably one of the best things in life.

I don't know about you, but what I love most about birthdays is that people treat you differently. Well not unusually different, but rather special. Most sincere people greet you with the most affecting messages that would steer either booming laughter or seemingly endless tears. 

My point is, people who truly give an effort to stay in your life will dig in their truest emotions to be able to carry out the most heartwarming messages. I for one who loves appreciating people in my life and giving them letters believe that sincere messages surface out of true emotions. 

I read again the birthday greetings I got from last year and this year, and to summarize, I chose three top messages for me:

1. That they wish me a happy birthday, that I should be enjoying my day, and that they hope I get the desires of my heart in accordance to God's will.

2. That they admire me for being one of the strongest girls they know, that they're thankful for the strength I radiate.

3. That they are excited for me--for whoever guy I choose to be with.

I'd like to focus on the second message. Honestly, I really didn't know people think I'm strong until they told me that I am in fact strong. I mean, I am an open book. I tell people the stories of my life, and when I want to cry, I cry even in front of them. How is crying a symbol of being strong? 

Then I remembered the time I got compelling messages to be strong, to hold on to God's will, and to be wise--this was the year I had my heart seriously and figuratively damaged from a break up and a death of a loved one. I have shared these two stories in my previous blogs a couple of times already but I can absolutely say that the stories, or more appropriately, these experiences, are the potent determinants of how I became "strong" in the first place.

So I have a belief that to be strong, one must first be weak. One must be aware of the fact that we're human made out of dust, vulnerable to the inevitable pain. When it became evident to me that my friends come to me for some advice and would eventually admire and thank me that I have such strength, I realized that hey this strength isn't mine. I mean come to think of it, I am the most obvious and constant weeper among all my friends, where on earth will I be getting the strength they are referring to? Where did I even get the energy to build that strength my friends are telling me I possess? Then I actualized that the most important question I should be asking myself is from Whom did it come from?

Thinking deeply now, I didn't even make any effort to own such strength people claim I have. It was just received on the time it was gravely needed. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says "But He said to me, 'My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, with insults, with troubles, with persecutions and difficulties for the sake of Christ, for when I am weak, then I am STRONG."  

To everyone whose messages point out an admiration to how strong I am, I wouldn't be if not for Christ. If I am radiating such strength, it is Christ residing in me. If I advised and it worked, it is because of the wisdom I pray for every single day. I am who I am not just because of my efforts, or my personality, but because I worship the same God Noah, Abraham or Moses worshiped. My strength is a gift only from Him that I try to sustain every day, no matter how difficult life gets because "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. My everything came from Him, even the people in my life who came, left, or stayed. My all in all is from Him because I am nothing without Him.

And now that I am twenty, about to embark to a new chapter after graduation, preparing for a big exam, fearing different goliaths and challenges this year; I am just truly grateful for everything the Lord has blessed me. I'll never live a total of two decades if it wasn't for His great life-giving, endless LOVE. My strength is my faith, and my faith is in God. To Him be all gratitude devoted, to Him be all admiration given, to Him be all the glory.

Odyssey

I’m very thankful to feel this overwhelming exuberance brought about by utmost gratitude from deep down my heart to God for all the blessings He bestowed upon me and everyone else especially those I love. I can’t express how happy I am to actually, literally be gaining wisdom every single day; from being guided by all my favorite Bible verses, to all the books that I read every devotional time; from listening to my family’s and bestfriends’ advice, to I myself being the one to advise; from the experiences I’ve been through, mistakes I learned from, to others’ own life stories with important lessons to get from. The motivation I have to a healthier lifestyle is so strong I can’t help but be excited every day to
try to push myself more and more to the goal of a longer life. I have so much inspiration in learning new things and in relearning old things, the passion to read and live by it is so alive.

I’m truly realizing the importance of self-awareness. How much I should control my attitude in every situation I’m given; that everything is a test, sometimes even tricky that I need to pass; that I have to prove the devil wrong; that I have to please God and give glory to Him in all things I do; that there’s more to life than being down and mulling over negative and torture thoughts; that life is really a gift from God, so beautiful and fragile at the same time.

And as much as I’m thankful to be aware of myself, it’s nice to be sensitive to other people too, that each has a story to tell. Each has a happy story, a terrible news, a hearbreaking experience, a memorable event, a sad moment, a stressful situation. Each is dealing with various emotions. That we don’t have a right to judge a person by how they look, what they say, how they talk, or how they mingle. because we’re only seeing, or hearing a speck, a tiny piece of who they really are.

This year has entered so uniquely than the years passed, and now that I’m figuring adulthood, it’s important to be strong, wise, and kind-hearted, humble, patient, prayerful, understanding, courteous, obedient, loving, honest, caring, sensitive. And I figured it helps to be enthusiastic and optimistic in welcoming changes and in going through struggles or mishaps.

My heart is overflowing with great appreciation and happiness over life and how truly truly amazing our God is.