I always wanted to be closer to God. I have always prayed for it. In May 2010, I have decided to attend Sabbaths regularly. So I did for the past seven months and still going on. But God taught me that He's more into refining me through the experiences He allowed, than that of Bible studying. I know that's what He does, working in my life like in everybody else, giving us the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases Him.(Philippians 2:13)
I believe those two BIG instances that caused me heartaches recently were the keys that opened my maturity. I agree that you never know how strong you can be until it's the only thing you have left. I can say, because I know it. I know what it feels like having people you love leave. I know what it's like to be depressed. God knows how deeply hurt I am, how much I cried night after night for several weeks. And He keeps tract of my misery and puts my tears in His leather
container. (Psalm 56:8) He listens, so I have poured out my heart to Him. I have gone through it knowing that He has better plans; and in so doing, I have learned to be thankful for whatever the situation is. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, "in everything, give thanks."
The pain always lingers, and it's already a part of me which I have to live with every single day. And that's what's making me connected to the Father. Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, He rescues those who are crushed in spirit." Rick Warren wrote "your profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely be in your darkest days--when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned,when you're out of options, when the pain is great--and you turn to God alone...and we learn things about God in suffering that we
cant learn any other way."
Psalm 105:4 is telling that we "Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face evermore." I have chosen to seek God because I want Him in my life. And though I'm hard pressed on every side, I am not crushed; though I was perplexed, I wasn't in despair; persecuted but not abandoned' struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8,9) People who have seen me at my worst and still uttered the words "You are so strong!" barely knew that this is Christ's power made perfect in my weakness; that is in 2 Corinthians 12:9.
Ever since then, I am grateful in everything that has been happening in my life. I have considered it pure joy when I fall in all sorts of trials. I believe that I'm transformed by trouble, and it just made me much closer to Jehovah.
You see, I'm not saying that I have won the race already. I'm still on that same journey, but polished and renewed this time. My choice in wanting to be under God's yoke gave meaning and understanding in all crossroads, trials and difficulties in my life. That's why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
reality check:
"It's ok. . .
as long as we're happy."
as long as we're happy."
It took me courage to take a picture of this family, it was hard for me to do it. I find it heartbreaking to see these two little boys wearing nothing. How bothering it is, too, to see their mother pregnant for the third child. How can the father support his family if he can't even buy a pair of slippers for himself? Their situation is like a slap to my face, waking me up to reality. They are people who are suffering from poverty, hunger, malnourishment, and those who are waiting to be heard. People like them want to voice out their deepest concerns, want to cry out for help, but knowing they wont get any. But these people will do whatever it takes, because they want to stay alive and they choose to be happy.
No matter how terrible the situation may be, people like them usually ignore the clamoring of the world because deep in their hearts, hope awaits.
YOU, reading this: You're lucky to know their situation, because now that you do, you'll realize how blessed you are.
No matter how terrible the situation may be, people like them usually ignore the clamoring of the world because deep in their hearts, hope awaits.
YOU, reading this: You're lucky to know their situation, because now that you do, you'll realize how blessed you are.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
the little things
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." Leo F. Buscaglia
What's more relaxing than a day with my niece approving me of life's little and simple joys, like that of a thumb and a smiley?
It made me sit down and think of the wonderful things life offers. Stress-free days, just like today. . .lie down on the grass forming shapes in the clouds on an ordinary day. . .singing one's heart out in the shower. . .playing in the rain. . .running on a huge field, feeling the soft grass touch your skin. . .looking up the trees and seeing the sunshine peeping through its leaves. . .swinging on a tarzan swing. . .swimming in the river. . .bubble blowing. . .ice cream eating. . .having a road trip. . .listening to good music. . .feeling the wind blow your hair revealing your face at once. . .being sun-kissed. . .walking slowly under the moonlight. . .feeling the sand oozing on your toes. . .hearing the crashing waves. . .watching cartoons with little kids. . .reading a worth it book. . .staying under the comforter on a stormy day. . .eating soup or drinking hot chocolate. . .playing under the heat of the sun. . .having field trips. . .hiking. . .sliding down a muddy slope. . .babysitting. . .sharing faith. . .what else? YOU name it.
God has given us the freedom to do everything. The best two, and simple words I can give is to APPRECIATE LIFE. Because if you do, you'll begin to realize the little things that make it worth it and you'll start enjoying it. Eventually, you'll learn to be more thankful for the bigger things you have and know those are blessing from God. So it's true that you live life to the fullest and make each day count!
And when you're feeling down and low, disappointed and hurt. . .stop for a while and remember not to underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
love it!
October 30, 2010
It's a wonderful feeling when you travel and you pass by a board about the size of a family pizza box tells you that "GOD LOVES YOU." It caught my attention and I was smiling because there are still some who cares enough and knows that a sign board will remind travelers how great God is.
Riding in the car, looking out the window; I was disappointed to have not captured one life-scene. My papa drives too fast and made it impossible to at least slow down a bit so I can take a picture of the farmers working on the field under the terrible heat of the sun. Papa shifted only to 4th gear and slowed down because a man with all his veins bulging from his skin crossed the highway. It must be hard carrying two big pails of water and worrying about crossing the wide road at the same time.
Then later, we passed by NLAC, a slight nostalgia hit me as I remembered cheering for my school when they had friendship game last January during our seniors' trip. Not so long, we reached the famous Kennon; with its mind swirling, vomit inducing, long, and winding road; welcoming you with kids selling pugo eggs. And so knowing what this road will bring me, I forced myself to sleep.
I woke up when I felt the car slowing down, and then I knew we were parking just outside my grandmother's home. I hurried down the house, to the living room, until I reached lola's room. The silence and the emptiness of her room made me very lonely. I miss her so much.
That afternoon, we went to the cemetery.Must be scary being six feet below the ground, I thought. . .
November 1, 2010
12 midnight. My tito insisted that we go to the cemetery. Cousins discussed. Decision made. Off to go. It was 12:27 am when I checked my phone, I kept it in the inside pocket of my borrowed jacket. My tito's drunk. Two older cousins, Two younger ones, and me. Six all in all, went to Baguio cemetery at an unholy hour. Tito said the cemetery is already filled with people at that hour, so we were all excited to get in.
Coming out of the taxi, seeing the dark entrance, and after setting our feet on the ground; our first instinct was to ride again and go back home. How can our tito play joke on us, we wondered. Thinking of a challenge and fear conquering brought us to the gates and decided to get in.
I didn't know that a crescent moon would be enough to light at least the dark areas of the place, and lit up the tombstones, coloring it pale blue.
Under the moonlight and as expected, my cousins and I played tricks on each other. It was really creepy. When we entered our clan's grave site, we settled for what seems like forever. Baguio's cold breeze, was that of a tornado circling around us with that eerie sound. It made us think of old ghost stories. We only had one candle, a powerful emergency light, a mat we laid on, and a blanket. The little dog we brought with us squeezed itself under the blanket.
Our tito slept on the bench, and the five of us were crazy over anything. My cousins were afraid of ghosts, the other one was expecting to see it; on the other hand, I was afraid of people. I didn't want to come with them because I was scared of alive ones who can do harm on us. I believe ghosts are only a play in the mind.
When I couldn't help it, because I wanted to pee, we decided to go home. Waking up a drunk tito was also a challenge. After minutes of convincing him, we headed back to the entrance. So we reached home at 2:12 am, safely and ecstatic. It was a risky experience to go out in the middle of the night, not even thinking much of the violent people who can slash our throats in a second. What I'm saying is that we went to the cemetery in that hour just for the sake of experiencing it.
We slept past 3am, and I woke up at 9:30 in the morning; prepared and traveled back to Cavite. Leaving Baguio was made easier, because we knew there's no more lola to leave behind.
Kennon road, just as I was about to puke, the car stopped. My mama wanted to have a picture of the Bridal Veil Falls. It looks so big from a far. But when my brother and I, together with papa crossed the eye widening hanging bridge to see the falls up close, I knew then it was magnificent. Looking like a real bridal veil, only a thousand times wider and longer. Took some shots, of course. The looking cold water flowing on the rocks and to the river ( if that's what you call it) is so inviting; but the danger it might bring you will stop you from even thinking it's nice to swim there. The hanging bridge is a bit frightening, especially crossing it while there is a gushing wind, and your naughty brother jumps up and down and runs to scare you more.
Pozorrubio, Pangasinan, papa's hometown. We decided to eat lunch at their house. It feels real good to eat an ilocano dish, with bagoong, kalamansi, and sili; when you're in the province. After sleeping for an hour, we left and traveled home. Brought my brother at San Mateo, Rizal. Home before 10:30 pm, and went straight to bed.
Just sharing a love it! moment. :)
It's a wonderful feeling when you travel and you pass by a board about the size of a family pizza box tells you that "GOD LOVES YOU." It caught my attention and I was smiling because there are still some who cares enough and knows that a sign board will remind travelers how great God is.
Riding in the car, looking out the window; I was disappointed to have not captured one life-scene. My papa drives too fast and made it impossible to at least slow down a bit so I can take a picture of the farmers working on the field under the terrible heat of the sun. Papa shifted only to 4th gear and slowed down because a man with all his veins bulging from his skin crossed the highway. It must be hard carrying two big pails of water and worrying about crossing the wide road at the same time.
Then later, we passed by NLAC, a slight nostalgia hit me as I remembered cheering for my school when they had friendship game last January during our seniors' trip. Not so long, we reached the famous Kennon; with its mind swirling, vomit inducing, long, and winding road; welcoming you with kids selling pugo eggs. And so knowing what this road will bring me, I forced myself to sleep.
I woke up when I felt the car slowing down, and then I knew we were parking just outside my grandmother's home. I hurried down the house, to the living room, until I reached lola's room. The silence and the emptiness of her room made me very lonely. I miss her so much.
That afternoon, we went to the cemetery.Must be scary being six feet below the ground, I thought. . .
November 1, 2010
12 midnight. My tito insisted that we go to the cemetery. Cousins discussed. Decision made. Off to go. It was 12:27 am when I checked my phone, I kept it in the inside pocket of my borrowed jacket. My tito's drunk. Two older cousins, Two younger ones, and me. Six all in all, went to Baguio cemetery at an unholy hour. Tito said the cemetery is already filled with people at that hour, so we were all excited to get in.
Coming out of the taxi, seeing the dark entrance, and after setting our feet on the ground; our first instinct was to ride again and go back home. How can our tito play joke on us, we wondered. Thinking of a challenge and fear conquering brought us to the gates and decided to get in.
I didn't know that a crescent moon would be enough to light at least the dark areas of the place, and lit up the tombstones, coloring it pale blue.
Under the moonlight and as expected, my cousins and I played tricks on each other. It was really creepy. When we entered our clan's grave site, we settled for what seems like forever. Baguio's cold breeze, was that of a tornado circling around us with that eerie sound. It made us think of old ghost stories. We only had one candle, a powerful emergency light, a mat we laid on, and a blanket. The little dog we brought with us squeezed itself under the blanket.
Our tito slept on the bench, and the five of us were crazy over anything. My cousins were afraid of ghosts, the other one was expecting to see it; on the other hand, I was afraid of people. I didn't want to come with them because I was scared of alive ones who can do harm on us. I believe ghosts are only a play in the mind.
When I couldn't help it, because I wanted to pee, we decided to go home. Waking up a drunk tito was also a challenge. After minutes of convincing him, we headed back to the entrance. So we reached home at 2:12 am, safely and ecstatic. It was a risky experience to go out in the middle of the night, not even thinking much of the violent people who can slash our throats in a second. What I'm saying is that we went to the cemetery in that hour just for the sake of experiencing it.
We slept past 3am, and I woke up at 9:30 in the morning; prepared and traveled back to Cavite. Leaving Baguio was made easier, because we knew there's no more lola to leave behind.
Kennon road, just as I was about to puke, the car stopped. My mama wanted to have a picture of the Bridal Veil Falls. It looks so big from a far. But when my brother and I, together with papa crossed the eye widening hanging bridge to see the falls up close, I knew then it was magnificent. Looking like a real bridal veil, only a thousand times wider and longer. Took some shots, of course. The looking cold water flowing on the rocks and to the river ( if that's what you call it) is so inviting; but the danger it might bring you will stop you from even thinking it's nice to swim there. The hanging bridge is a bit frightening, especially crossing it while there is a gushing wind, and your naughty brother jumps up and down and runs to scare you more.
Pozorrubio, Pangasinan, papa's hometown. We decided to eat lunch at their house. It feels real good to eat an ilocano dish, with bagoong, kalamansi, and sili; when you're in the province. After sleeping for an hour, we left and traveled home. Brought my brother at San Mateo, Rizal. Home before 10:30 pm, and went straight to bed.
Just sharing a love it! moment. :)
Friday, October 29, 2010
i need a long life. . .
Last night in bed, I twisted and turned around because I couldn't get my sleep. It's as if, someone's thinking of me out there, keeping me up. So I kept still. Blanket reached over my head, laying with tummy faced down. It was cold. Concentrating on I'm not sure what it is, words suddenly popped up into my blank thoughts. Words such as: "people," "use," "help," "poor," "money," "love," and finally, "service." I don't get it. Those are simple and common words, maybe used in our everyday lives; until the experience in the Bilibid prison flashed back in my mind.
Money is evil. You can't serve both God and money. But most people are imprisoned because of money matters. The guy I interviewed when we visited them was put to jail because He was caught dealing drugs. "wala kasi akong mapakain sa mag-iina ko, kaya ito na lang talaga 'yung pinasukan ko. hindi naman ako adik eh, taga tulak lang talaga ako ng drugs, runner kumbaga." Tears begun to form in his tired eyes when he was telling me the story. I couldn't help but shed a tear or two because deep down, I knew this man had repented.
God has used these people so that we can learn from their experience. Poverty is not a hindrance to success, but these people had no knowledge about it. Just because they love their families, and money is nowhere to be found except by doing a crime, they did it. They took the risk of being a "bad man" just so they can feed their families. It breaks my heart to wake up in this reality that not everyone knows about Jesus.
SERVICE. In return, I want to help them and teach them of what I know is right because truth will set them free. Last night, thinking in bed, I told myself that whenever I have the chance to help, I would do it. I want to minister, young as I am. And when I become a nurse someday, I want to be an example to the youth so that they can be useful, regardless of uncertainties. So I prayed that God use me in any way to help people, those of in need. I want to be a light to them in their darkest times, that they might be enlightened of what great thing tomorrow can give them if they start doing the right thing.
This is a DREAM entry. I want a MISSION ACCOMPLISHED entry SOON. I really want to.
So help me God.
Money is evil. You can't serve both God and money. But most people are imprisoned because of money matters. The guy I interviewed when we visited them was put to jail because He was caught dealing drugs. "wala kasi akong mapakain sa mag-iina ko, kaya ito na lang talaga 'yung pinasukan ko. hindi naman ako adik eh, taga tulak lang talaga ako ng drugs, runner kumbaga." Tears begun to form in his tired eyes when he was telling me the story. I couldn't help but shed a tear or two because deep down, I knew this man had repented.
God has used these people so that we can learn from their experience. Poverty is not a hindrance to success, but these people had no knowledge about it. Just because they love their families, and money is nowhere to be found except by doing a crime, they did it. They took the risk of being a "bad man" just so they can feed their families. It breaks my heart to wake up in this reality that not everyone knows about Jesus.
SERVICE. In return, I want to help them and teach them of what I know is right because truth will set them free. Last night, thinking in bed, I told myself that whenever I have the chance to help, I would do it. I want to minister, young as I am. And when I become a nurse someday, I want to be an example to the youth so that they can be useful, regardless of uncertainties. So I prayed that God use me in any way to help people, those of in need. I want to be a light to them in their darkest times, that they might be enlightened of what great thing tomorrow can give them if they start doing the right thing.
This is a DREAM entry. I want a MISSION ACCOMPLISHED entry SOON. I really want to.
So help me God.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
once a wayward behavior. . .
I stopped reading the Bible.
I read It only every Sabbath. I stopped my regular reading every night, instead, I read a devotional book my friend gave me. Each entry corresponds with a holy scripture, of course; but I intentionally didn't look for it in the Bible. All because I wanted to trust my own understanding, and praying intimately afterward. Why you may ask?
I wanted to see the difference. "What will it do to me, not reading the Bible every night like I used to,"? I challenged myself, and the quest continued for the rest of October. I find it not difficult to resist the Bible, because I made myself busy watching movies. I was trying to pinpoint a scene that is satanic, on a looking "innocent" movie. I was trying to find something evil on every movie I watched, but I was disappointed to have found none...or maybe, I was just blinded. When I got bored doing the same for a week, I decided to buy a book. Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom interested me much and I was able to finish it in two days. Which made me write a blog about life. The next days, I was busy enrolling and babysitting. I actually neglected the Bible especially feeling the urge to read it again but not minding it at all.
The best thing in this, well you can call it an experiment, is that God's Words are still implanted in me. I know in my heart that what I was doing was wrong; the Holy Spirit, if not my conscience, bothered me so much yet I was still able to sleep well at night. Maybe because I know that no matter what, I will still be reaching out to God's extended hand, and so I did.
This morning, I decided to open and read the Bible once again. Finally, the quest is finished. The search in finding my real self when it comes to spiritual matters is done. I have known that if you really are sincere in your study about the Bible; whether you go the wrong way intentionally or not, as long as you turn to Him again, you will always find your way back. And so this morning while I was lifting the pages of the precious Book, I was comforted. It was like coming home after running away.
I love what I've learned today. I was reading the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and I find it not a waste of time. So sharing what good news I've encountered. . .
Hebrews 2:10a "God is the One who made all things, and all things are for His glory. He wanted to have many children to share His glory."
Rick Warren wrote, "The only way to get into God's family is by being born again into it. You became part of the human family by your first birth, but you become part of God's family by your second birth. God has given us the privilege of being born again, so that we are now members of God's own family."
Romans 8:15 NLT "So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God's very own children, adopted into His family--calling Him 'Father, dear Father.'"
This invitation to be part of God's family is for everyone...
Mark 8:34 "Then Jesus called the crowd, along with his disciples, and said to them, 'If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.'"
but there is one condition: faith in Jesus.
Galatians 3:26 "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus."
Since you are His child, everything He has belongs to you...
Galatians 4:7 "So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if you are a son, then you are also an heir through God."
You should know then that,
1 Peter 1:4 "God has reserved a priceless inheritance for His children. That is, into an inheritance imperishable, undefiled, and unfading. It is reserved in heaven for you, "
I smiled with the fact that God welcomed me back with the knowledge of what's waiting for me. I have realized that I am rich in heaven. God is so good and He knows how to correct us, only if we respond to His calling then we'll know how much He loves us. Read Proverbs 1:23.
Psalm 14:2 "The Lord looks down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there are any who understand, who seek God."
So I encourage YOU to seek God, and find time for Him. It's nice to have a habit of a daily devotional time with God; but it is also important to include Him in EVERYTHING that we do, in every problem we come across, even in every thought we have. It's a great feeling to have a continuous conversation with Him throughout the day by praying, like He's right beside you and you're just talking to Him. We should learn to practice His presence ALL THE TIME. And of course, when we pray, we "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17); and we should make sure that we honor God when we pray, not control Him.
What I did for almost a month has broken, and melted me, and what I did today to change that, molded and filled me once again with God's undying love. I believe I am used to write this and begin again, bearing in mind God's outstretched hand; knowing that I am part of His family, and do all things for His glory.
Why will I stop knowing the Word when it is the only true promise I can hold on to, and the only Book of Life in this ever changing and dying world?
I read It only every Sabbath. I stopped my regular reading every night, instead, I read a devotional book my friend gave me. Each entry corresponds with a holy scripture, of course; but I intentionally didn't look for it in the Bible. All because I wanted to trust my own understanding, and praying intimately afterward. Why you may ask?
I wanted to see the difference. "What will it do to me, not reading the Bible every night like I used to,"? I challenged myself, and the quest continued for the rest of October. I find it not difficult to resist the Bible, because I made myself busy watching movies. I was trying to pinpoint a scene that is satanic, on a looking "innocent" movie. I was trying to find something evil on every movie I watched, but I was disappointed to have found none...or maybe, I was just blinded. When I got bored doing the same for a week, I decided to buy a book. Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom interested me much and I was able to finish it in two days. Which made me write a blog about life. The next days, I was busy enrolling and babysitting. I actually neglected the Bible especially feeling the urge to read it again but not minding it at all.
The best thing in this, well you can call it an experiment, is that God's Words are still implanted in me. I know in my heart that what I was doing was wrong; the Holy Spirit, if not my conscience, bothered me so much yet I was still able to sleep well at night. Maybe because I know that no matter what, I will still be reaching out to God's extended hand, and so I did.
This morning, I decided to open and read the Bible once again. Finally, the quest is finished. The search in finding my real self when it comes to spiritual matters is done. I have known that if you really are sincere in your study about the Bible; whether you go the wrong way intentionally or not, as long as you turn to Him again, you will always find your way back. And so this morning while I was lifting the pages of the precious Book, I was comforted. It was like coming home after running away.
I love what I've learned today. I was reading the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and I find it not a waste of time. So sharing what good news I've encountered. . .
Hebrews 2:10a "God is the One who made all things, and all things are for His glory. He wanted to have many children to share His glory."
Rick Warren wrote, "The only way to get into God's family is by being born again into it. You became part of the human family by your first birth, but you become part of God's family by your second birth. God has given us the privilege of being born again, so that we are now members of God's own family."
Romans 8:15 NLT "So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God's very own children, adopted into His family--calling Him 'Father, dear Father.'"
This invitation to be part of God's family is for everyone...
Mark 8:34 "Then Jesus called the crowd, along with his disciples, and said to them, 'If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.'"
but there is one condition: faith in Jesus.
Galatians 3:26 "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus."
Since you are His child, everything He has belongs to you...
Galatians 4:7 "So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if you are a son, then you are also an heir through God."
You should know then that,
1 Peter 1:4 "God has reserved a priceless inheritance for His children. That is, into an inheritance imperishable, undefiled, and unfading. It is reserved in heaven for you, "
I smiled with the fact that God welcomed me back with the knowledge of what's waiting for me. I have realized that I am rich in heaven. God is so good and He knows how to correct us, only if we respond to His calling then we'll know how much He loves us. Read Proverbs 1:23.
Psalm 14:2 "The Lord looks down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there are any who understand, who seek God."
So I encourage YOU to seek God, and find time for Him. It's nice to have a habit of a daily devotional time with God; but it is also important to include Him in EVERYTHING that we do, in every problem we come across, even in every thought we have. It's a great feeling to have a continuous conversation with Him throughout the day by praying, like He's right beside you and you're just talking to Him. We should learn to practice His presence ALL THE TIME. And of course, when we pray, we "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17); and we should make sure that we honor God when we pray, not control Him.
What I did for almost a month has broken, and melted me, and what I did today to change that, molded and filled me once again with God's undying love. I believe I am used to write this and begin again, bearing in mind God's outstretched hand; knowing that I am part of His family, and do all things for His glory.
Why will I stop knowing the Word when it is the only true promise I can hold on to, and the only Book of Life in this ever changing and dying world?
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
have a little faith
Define Life.
This sentence ends with a period but it asks you a question. well not exactly a question, but it has something to do with asking yourself; making yourself walk down to memory lane and allow nostalgia hit you; maybe let you answer bonus questions such as "what is success to you"? or "Ever been depressed"?; sometimes it will bring you to the deepest thinking.
You might be wondering then how I define life. I used to define life with something to do with "existence." I used to tell myself that people who utter words "Get a life!" create an impact on those who just exist. Of course we all exist in this world, but the question is, do we have a life? Now we're getting deeper.
Influenced by Mitch Albom's Have A Little Faith; I have a new meaning for L-I-F-E. Mitch wrote: "The story of my recent life. I like that phrase. It makes more sense than the story of my life, because we get so many lives between birth and death. A life to be a child. A life to come of age. A life to wander, to settle, to fall in love, to parent, to test our promise, to realize our mortality--and in some lucky cases, to do something after that realization."
Now this made me realize that it's true. Back in kindergarten, I defined life by do and play; having God above and my family on earth. This changed over time of course, and in elementary, I told myself that I have a good life. Which means I had better perspective than just do and play. Crossing the border from school age to adolescence, I have realized that life has something to do with death and problems too. Which made me believe that Life is sometimes up and sometimes down. When I entered and finished high school, I have ever since defined life as God's gift. So many experiences in teenage years made me discover life at its fullest. I have seen laughter; felt intense crying, been excited, happy, and lonely; been in love, seen death, been hurt and depressed; walked a mile or two, ran in the rain, developed social life, increased in wisdom, grew spiritually, EXPERIENCED CHANGE.
I have defined life as blissful, and filled with happy memories back when I was in love. I have defined life as something I couldn't take, or in short I can't commit suicide; But there's one thing I realized when I asked God to take my life once when I was hopeless; that I was talking to a greater power, and talking to Him was in fact, "hope." Cliche, because I have defined life to be so short and it shouldn't be spent on regrets; a famous quote often posted on the internet. Truth is, when we regret or when we "look back", we give ourselves a time to realize a mistake and eventually learn from it and look forward for a change. I have defined life to be short in such a way that people die too soon; and then I realized they didn't die "too soon," rather they died on the exact time they were supposed to be. The quote "Everything happens for a reason" applies on this. I have defined life to be happy and worth it if spent the right way. . .and no matter what, IT GOES ON.
At this exact time in my life, due to the storm and setbacks, I can literally and figuratively say WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS; but God calms me amidst the storm because I let go and let Him work. Nothing under His control can ever be out of control. So the story of my recent life is that I define it as a journey of belief. As a Christian, my belief is found in John 3:16; my belief is in the Word of God, the assurance of His promises keeps me going. What I learned from Mitch Albom's experience is that "we should know what we believe, it should be in our souls. We should be convinced with the authenticity of what we have, but we must also be humble enough to say that we don't know everything. And since we don't know everything, we must accept that another person may believe something else." Now FAITH has something to do with HOW you live your life. People believe differently, whom to serve or not, what church to attend or not. This is the biggest difference we see in people when defining life.
Now it's YOUR turn: DEFINE LIFE.
This sentence ends with a period but it asks you a question. well not exactly a question, but it has something to do with asking yourself; making yourself walk down to memory lane and allow nostalgia hit you; maybe let you answer bonus questions such as "what is success to you"? or "Ever been depressed"?; sometimes it will bring you to the deepest thinking.
You might be wondering then how I define life. I used to define life with something to do with "existence." I used to tell myself that people who utter words "Get a life!" create an impact on those who just exist. Of course we all exist in this world, but the question is, do we have a life? Now we're getting deeper.
Influenced by Mitch Albom's Have A Little Faith; I have a new meaning for L-I-F-E. Mitch wrote: "The story of my recent life. I like that phrase. It makes more sense than the story of my life, because we get so many lives between birth and death. A life to be a child. A life to come of age. A life to wander, to settle, to fall in love, to parent, to test our promise, to realize our mortality--and in some lucky cases, to do something after that realization."
Now this made me realize that it's true. Back in kindergarten, I defined life by do and play; having God above and my family on earth. This changed over time of course, and in elementary, I told myself that I have a good life. Which means I had better perspective than just do and play. Crossing the border from school age to adolescence, I have realized that life has something to do with death and problems too. Which made me believe that Life is sometimes up and sometimes down. When I entered and finished high school, I have ever since defined life as God's gift. So many experiences in teenage years made me discover life at its fullest. I have seen laughter; felt intense crying, been excited, happy, and lonely; been in love, seen death, been hurt and depressed; walked a mile or two, ran in the rain, developed social life, increased in wisdom, grew spiritually, EXPERIENCED CHANGE.
I have defined life as blissful, and filled with happy memories back when I was in love. I have defined life as something I couldn't take, or in short I can't commit suicide; But there's one thing I realized when I asked God to take my life once when I was hopeless; that I was talking to a greater power, and talking to Him was in fact, "hope." Cliche, because I have defined life to be so short and it shouldn't be spent on regrets; a famous quote often posted on the internet. Truth is, when we regret or when we "look back", we give ourselves a time to realize a mistake and eventually learn from it and look forward for a change. I have defined life to be short in such a way that people die too soon; and then I realized they didn't die "too soon," rather they died on the exact time they were supposed to be. The quote "Everything happens for a reason" applies on this. I have defined life to be happy and worth it if spent the right way. . .and no matter what, IT GOES ON.
At this exact time in my life, due to the storm and setbacks, I can literally and figuratively say WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS; but God calms me amidst the storm because I let go and let Him work. Nothing under His control can ever be out of control. So the story of my recent life is that I define it as a journey of belief. As a Christian, my belief is found in John 3:16; my belief is in the Word of God, the assurance of His promises keeps me going. What I learned from Mitch Albom's experience is that "we should know what we believe, it should be in our souls. We should be convinced with the authenticity of what we have, but we must also be humble enough to say that we don't know everything. And since we don't know everything, we must accept that another person may believe something else." Now FAITH has something to do with HOW you live your life. People believe differently, whom to serve or not, what church to attend or not. This is the biggest difference we see in people when defining life.
Now it's YOUR turn: DEFINE LIFE.
Friday, October 15, 2010
looking forward.
" i want to feed the hungry people, reach across the farthest land, tell the broken there is healing, and mercy in the Father's hands"
I always wanted to be a nurse, on the other hand, I love to write and the world of photojournalism interests me as well. I guess that's a confusion for me, but most of the time, it's not. I thought that maybe someday as a registered nurse, I get to travel the world; and traveling will give me so many reasons to be a photojournalist in my own way, RIGHT?
Well this is just a far introduction to what my blog is all about. I just wanted to start it with what I want to be someday. Here's a great photograph taken by my uncle.
I know you have keen eyes, and you see the reflection on the raindrop. I'm so fascinated with God's creation. So amazed that a raindrop, little and useless as it seems, reflects how great He is. Whenever I'm in the verge of despair, I meditate in the nature; and it brings me so much closer to the Creator. I get to ponder on life's ultimate goal: to give Him all the glory for He is worthy of it. (Revelation 4:11)
I'm just a little bit observant and filled with thoughts about every little thing that surrounds me now; be it a person, an animal, a tree, or a thing. Reminding me that everything I have now are blessings to be thankful for, and didn't cross my life accidentally.
So, once again let me talk about what I want to be in the near future. Maybe after graduating and while reviewing for the board exam, I can use idle time to capture earth's wonders, and put them into words at the same time.
WHATEVER it is that will keep me going on with life, or what will keep me busy, I want to make sure I do it for God's glory; in my words, in my actions and in everything I do. . .because once again, He is worthy of it.
I always wanted to be a nurse, on the other hand, I love to write and the world of photojournalism interests me as well. I guess that's a confusion for me, but most of the time, it's not. I thought that maybe someday as a registered nurse, I get to travel the world; and traveling will give me so many reasons to be a photojournalist in my own way, RIGHT?
Well this is just a far introduction to what my blog is all about. I just wanted to start it with what I want to be someday. Here's a great photograph taken by my uncle.
I know you have keen eyes, and you see the reflection on the raindrop. I'm so fascinated with God's creation. So amazed that a raindrop, little and useless as it seems, reflects how great He is. Whenever I'm in the verge of despair, I meditate in the nature; and it brings me so much closer to the Creator. I get to ponder on life's ultimate goal: to give Him all the glory for He is worthy of it. (Revelation 4:11)
I'm just a little bit observant and filled with thoughts about every little thing that surrounds me now; be it a person, an animal, a tree, or a thing. Reminding me that everything I have now are blessings to be thankful for, and didn't cross my life accidentally.
So, once again let me talk about what I want to be in the near future. Maybe after graduating and while reviewing for the board exam, I can use idle time to capture earth's wonders, and put them into words at the same time.
WHATEVER it is that will keep me going on with life, or what will keep me busy, I want to make sure I do it for God's glory; in my words, in my actions and in everything I do. . .because once again, He is worthy of it.
"Don't let anyone think little of you because you are young. Be their ideal; let them follow the way you teach and live; be a pattern for them in your love, your faith, and your clean thoughts. Keep a close watch on all you do and think. Stay true to what is right and God will bless you and use you to help others." 1 Timothy 4: 12, 16
s o m e d a y
In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman. He was pursuing
the question:
'What kind of man are you looking for?'
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?'
Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes.'
She began to expand, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what you can do for me that I can't do for myself?
I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter.
I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring
to money.
She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.
She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally
because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a
simple-minded man.
I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I
don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is
a recipe for disaster.
I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't
need a financial burden.
I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I
go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.
I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies
andgame-playing are not my idea of a strong man.
I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest
and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.
I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must
respect him.
I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business.
I HAVE NO PROBLEM BEING SUBMISSIVE... he just has to be worthy.
And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will
recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection,
but he will always be drawn to me.
God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he
can't help himself.
When she finished her spiel, she looked at him.
He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a
lot'.
She replied, "I'm worth a lot".
*from a FRIEND.
the question:
'What kind of man are you looking for?'
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?'
Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes.'
She began to expand, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what you can do for me that I can't do for myself?
I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter.
I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring
to money.
She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.
She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally
because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a
simple-minded man.
I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I
don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is
a recipe for disaster.
I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't
need a financial burden.
I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I
go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.
I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies
and
I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest
and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.
I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must
respect him.
I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business.
I HAVE NO PROBLEM BEING SUBMISSIVE... he just has to be worthy.
And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will
recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection,
but he will always be drawn to me.
God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he
can't help himself.
When she finished her spiel, she looked at him.
He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a
lot'.
She replied, "I'm worth a lot".
*from a FRIEND.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
"curhat"
Eight People, One Story.
How would you feel when a topic you don't ever wanna talk about sprouted out accidentally in a small group gathering? How would you feel when you're asked of your opinion over something you told yourself never to answer? How about perspiring because you don't know what to say, and passing the question to another person just so you can think about it first? These are some situations eight people had undergone one fine afternoon. Here's the story.
It was just an afternoon when six people started talking about random things when two persons entered the room. Suddenly, a guy among the group started asking this person, let's call him Sam, about what happened between him and his girlfriend. He said they are no longer together, because he broke up with her. The seven put him in hot seat, and let him
speak the truth. He just said that he ended it in a nice way, but he admitted that he did cry.
Upon hearing this, a girl named Rain related her situation with her past lover. She said that her ex-boyfriend broke up with her in a very heartbreaking way. The seven asked Rain then what happened, but she didn't dare answer.
A guy named Zio agreed to what Rain said; that those who are dropped by their partners have no right to tell others what happened. He said that he stopped the thing he and his girl had, because he realized that it was too soon and he only knew the girl for just a while. In fact, he still loves his first girlfriend and he still hopes for her coming back.
There goes Dianne, she realized that what she had with this new guy at school was just infatuation, especially the guy had a girlfriend. She was brought into light, and she realized that it was the best thing that she ended this "thing" with that guy.
Oops, here's Mila, she never had an actual and legal relationship with this guy, but they have been great friends before he left the country. Actually, everyone around them supported their loveteam. The seven guessed that Mila's doing okay, and just going on with the flow.
Now we have Ringo and Janine, they did have their "past love" with each other but when the six started interviewing them, they had nothing to say.
Lastly, We have this guy named Wesley, he already found his dream girl and actually had an affair with her. But he was very hurt because all of a sudden the girl started hating him. Rain actually sympathizes with him, because she felt the same way.
Dianne told them that her dream guy must be God-fearing, and everyone agreed. Wesley and Janine added that their dream partners must be music-minded. Everyone was quiet for a while.
Dianne asked them how will they know if they already found whom God created for them? The boys said that it's not true. God gave each person the freedom to choose whom to love, He's
just there to guide. Zio gave her an example: When you suddenly fell in love with a drug addict, God is there to guide you how to handle that situaion, whether to stop it or not. Dianne then said that the song "When God made you, He must've been thinking about me" isn't correct. Zio answered maybe, and he said that there's a lot more about love that they have to know
about, and they shouldn't rush about it.
Wesley asked Rain what if her ex-boyfriend came back and wanted to be together with
her again; she replied "maybe not anymore, but if he's sincere and his love is true, then I'll make him court me for years." Well all of them laughed and agreed eventually. Zio pointed out that this time in their lives, only admiration is allowed. Everyone agreed once again and realized it was already getting late. They didn't finish their talk in a formal way, because they know what they felt and just kept silent.
Complicated as it is, these people have something common to share: an experience of being in love, being brokenhearted,and being matured. Sure thing, love is just one word but its meaning is only defined by, well I don't know, I guess it's only a choice. When we choose to love, we should love what we choose. Love isn't only about "Feelings" but love is also about "principles." You don't choose to love a person you never like,right? Instead you look for someone you like and eventually fall for them, and you're lucky if the feeling is mutual. Eventually, you'll have a relationship and soon commit to each other for a lifetime. It's just a matter of waiting, time, and of course "making it happen." You shape your own destiny. Well, I'm no experienced woman to be talking about this sensitive matter, but my thoughts are flying with it...
YOU decide, you define, you experience LOVE.
*this is a true story, used screen names though.
How would you feel when a topic you don't ever wanna talk about sprouted out accidentally in a small group gathering? How would you feel when you're asked of your opinion over something you told yourself never to answer? How about perspiring because you don't know what to say, and passing the question to another person just so you can think about it first? These are some situations eight people had undergone one fine afternoon. Here's the story.
It was just an afternoon when six people started talking about random things when two persons entered the room. Suddenly, a guy among the group started asking this person, let's call him Sam, about what happened between him and his girlfriend. He said they are no longer together, because he broke up with her. The seven put him in hot seat, and let him
speak the truth. He just said that he ended it in a nice way, but he admitted that he did cry.
Upon hearing this, a girl named Rain related her situation with her past lover. She said that her ex-boyfriend broke up with her in a very heartbreaking way. The seven asked Rain then what happened, but she didn't dare answer.
A guy named Zio agreed to what Rain said; that those who are dropped by their partners have no right to tell others what happened. He said that he stopped the thing he and his girl had, because he realized that it was too soon and he only knew the girl for just a while. In fact, he still loves his first girlfriend and he still hopes for her coming back.
There goes Dianne, she realized that what she had with this new guy at school was just infatuation, especially the guy had a girlfriend. She was brought into light, and she realized that it was the best thing that she ended this "thing" with that guy.
Oops, here's Mila, she never had an actual and legal relationship with this guy, but they have been great friends before he left the country. Actually, everyone around them supported their loveteam. The seven guessed that Mila's doing okay, and just going on with the flow.
Now we have Ringo and Janine, they did have their "past love" with each other but when the six started interviewing them, they had nothing to say.
Lastly, We have this guy named Wesley, he already found his dream girl and actually had an affair with her. But he was very hurt because all of a sudden the girl started hating him. Rain actually sympathizes with him, because she felt the same way.
Dianne told them that her dream guy must be God-fearing, and everyone agreed. Wesley and Janine added that their dream partners must be music-minded. Everyone was quiet for a while.
Dianne asked them how will they know if they already found whom God created for them? The boys said that it's not true. God gave each person the freedom to choose whom to love, He's
just there to guide. Zio gave her an example: When you suddenly fell in love with a drug addict, God is there to guide you how to handle that situaion, whether to stop it or not. Dianne then said that the song "When God made you, He must've been thinking about me" isn't correct. Zio answered maybe, and he said that there's a lot more about love that they have to know
about, and they shouldn't rush about it.
Wesley asked Rain what if her ex-boyfriend came back and wanted to be together with
her again; she replied "maybe not anymore, but if he's sincere and his love is true, then I'll make him court me for years." Well all of them laughed and agreed eventually. Zio pointed out that this time in their lives, only admiration is allowed. Everyone agreed once again and realized it was already getting late. They didn't finish their talk in a formal way, because they know what they felt and just kept silent.
Complicated as it is, these people have something common to share: an experience of being in love, being brokenhearted,and being matured. Sure thing, love is just one word but its meaning is only defined by, well I don't know, I guess it's only a choice. When we choose to love, we should love what we choose. Love isn't only about "Feelings" but love is also about "principles." You don't choose to love a person you never like,right? Instead you look for someone you like and eventually fall for them, and you're lucky if the feeling is mutual. Eventually, you'll have a relationship and soon commit to each other for a lifetime. It's just a matter of waiting, time, and of course "making it happen." You shape your own destiny. Well, I'm no experienced woman to be talking about this sensitive matter, but my thoughts are flying with it...
YOU decide, you define, you experience LOVE.
*this is a true story, used screen names though.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
U-Turn
I stopped writing in my diary 2 months ago. All because of pain from a person who I thought was worthy of my love, and grief when my dearest grandmother died. I have sworn never to write in that diary again. A writer like me, when hurt is haunted by many words similar to "torment." My thoughts were filled with agony, and I was too scared to put it down in words. So I've decided to stop my habit that has been going on for three years.
But tonight, realizing that GOD allows U-Turns, I've finally decided to write again. It's like summarizing the whole day in a sheet of paper; and once again I've felt the love for writing. Expressing my feelings through paper and pen, or online blogging has made me wise. It has somehow become a refuge. Just like a friend, ever willing to listen.
There is just one thing I told myself, that when I end my entry, I should make sure that the presence of God is felt. Someday, if I am able and if it is God's will, then I can write a book. . .
a book inspired by my own story.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
dot-dot-dot
I still cry.
I am still hurt. It has been a month of tears and questions and here I am, still suffering from something I don't deserve. Tongue-tied by the reason he gave me, I had no choice but to accept it. I told myself not to hate him, but understand and be open-minded.
Looking back at the memories we've shared together, I can say that we have been great friends, but I guess we were not good enough as lovers. Maybe we just have irreconcilable differences that may have contributed to the break up. I still don't know the reason why he suddenly gave up on me when i have so much faith on him. I am still unsure of my feelings, because waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful as well, but not knowing which one to do is the worst kind of suffering. Quoting from A Cinderella Story, "Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought, useless and disappointing."
I am very much hurt because I love him truly. I have expected so much from him because I knew him as a loving, caring, good, reliable, understanding, and God fearing friend. So I thought that he would love me in a way that would double those traits. But I was wrong, I never knew him as my lover, he was just different.
I wouldn't blame the distance, because I strongly believe that it does not hinder
two individuals that are so much in love from being in touch. I believe that if you truly love someone, you will work out something that has gone wrong in your relationship. In our case, he made the decision without hearing my side. He dropped me like a careless man throwing a candy wrapper in public, not considering people who saw him.--not considering my feelings at all.
BUT, just like what I said, I will continue being open-minded. Maybe he has deeper reasons, or maybe no reason at all. I may not be in love with him anymore, but what happened between us just created a deeper love and concern for him.
Like in the song, "It must have been love, but it's over now...it must have been good, but I lost him somehow." From my experience, I have learned so well that it is never wrong to fall in love, but anything too much, too soon, is not good. I am not closing doors because I am open to all possibilities. But for now, I'm going to help myself move on and let go fully.
I am still hurt. It has been a month of tears and questions and here I am, still suffering from something I don't deserve. Tongue-tied by the reason he gave me, I had no choice but to accept it. I told myself not to hate him, but understand and be open-minded.
Looking back at the memories we've shared together, I can say that we have been great friends, but I guess we were not good enough as lovers. Maybe we just have irreconcilable differences that may have contributed to the break up. I still don't know the reason why he suddenly gave up on me when i have so much faith on him. I am still unsure of my feelings, because waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful as well, but not knowing which one to do is the worst kind of suffering. Quoting from A Cinderella Story, "Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought, useless and disappointing."
I am very much hurt because I love him truly. I have expected so much from him because I knew him as a loving, caring, good, reliable, understanding, and God fearing friend. So I thought that he would love me in a way that would double those traits. But I was wrong, I never knew him as my lover, he was just different.
I wouldn't blame the distance, because I strongly believe that it does not hinder
two individuals that are so much in love from being in touch. I believe that if you truly love someone, you will work out something that has gone wrong in your relationship. In our case, he made the decision without hearing my side. He dropped me like a careless man throwing a candy wrapper in public, not considering people who saw him.--not considering my feelings at all.
BUT, just like what I said, I will continue being open-minded. Maybe he has deeper reasons, or maybe no reason at all. I may not be in love with him anymore, but what happened between us just created a deeper love and concern for him.
Like in the song, "It must have been love, but it's over now...it must have been good, but I lost him somehow." From my experience, I have learned so well that it is never wrong to fall in love, but anything too much, too soon, is not good. I am not closing doors because I am open to all possibilities. But for now, I'm going to help myself move on and let go fully.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
20 days have passed. . .
MAY 11, 2010
I still remember the day he was leaving. We both agreed to meet in our school. Then we begun walking around, and we sat in a park. There, we talked about anything under the sun, most especially assuming things that may happen when he's not around anymore. We had a good time talking about "us.
Then came the time, he had to leave. It was a 3-day travel to his hometown, and truly every second created a distance apart. I did my best to stay with him, at least through texting. I've prayed for his safe trip and thankful that he was. He told me he has experienced "lessons learned" situation during the trip, and I'm glad he made it through alive. I guess the best part was that he was enjoying it, together with his family, knowing that they are in God's good hands.
But the first night was hard. I cried, no matter how I forced myself not to.
I'm just holding on to the fact that I love him, and what I feel is real. That God will make a way for us to see each other again.
And the days passed by, I started realizing he's very far away, but just smiling. The days that keep us apart, keep me alive. And I'm looking forward, on that day, that we'll meet again.
After 20 days of constant texting and calling...Knowing he was doing okay, knowing he passed his math and english exams, and that he was enrolled in the course of education, knowing he was learning to do chores, knowing he was happy there, I finally made myself comfortable with the fact that my sweetheart is OK.
JUNE 1, 2010
I woke up, and called him. I thanked God because I was able to hear his voice, the loudest thing in my head. The day went by, by texting with him. He said, he'll spend the afternoon washing clothes. I was laughing at the thought of that. Then around 3:45 pm, I was off to see my dentist. After being treated, i drove to my school's tailoring and mom bought my PE shorts. While waiting, I called him. He said he's going to wash clothes later that afternoon, and then he asked me to hold on for he will ride a motor, going somewhere he didn't mention. He asked me not to end the call, so I didn't. In a short while, I heard a motor behind me. When I looked back, I was shocked and surprised to see him there standing and laughing. I then hugged him tight, feeling him, realizing it's not a dream. Happily, we went to meet mom, who was also as shocked as I am.
WE all went for a road trip to his home.
I don't know how to thank God, above all. For He never gave me a hint, or a feeling that my sweetheart is coming home; He took good care of him as he traveled back; He made me think, that He also surprised me. What an Amazing God we have, and I believe, He just wrote a tiny part of a beautiful love story He writes for the both of us.
I still remember the day he was leaving. We both agreed to meet in our school. Then we begun walking around, and we sat in a park. There, we talked about anything under the sun, most especially assuming things that may happen when he's not around anymore. We had a good time talking about "us.
Then came the time, he had to leave. It was a 3-day travel to his hometown, and truly every second created a distance apart. I did my best to stay with him, at least through texting. I've prayed for his safe trip and thankful that he was. He told me he has experienced "lessons learned" situation during the trip, and I'm glad he made it through alive. I guess the best part was that he was enjoying it, together with his family, knowing that they are in God's good hands.
But the first night was hard. I cried, no matter how I forced myself not to.
I'm just holding on to the fact that I love him, and what I feel is real. That God will make a way for us to see each other again.
And the days passed by, I started realizing he's very far away, but just smiling. The days that keep us apart, keep me alive. And I'm looking forward, on that day, that we'll meet again.
After 20 days of constant texting and calling...Knowing he was doing okay, knowing he passed his math and english exams, and that he was enrolled in the course of education, knowing he was learning to do chores, knowing he was happy there, I finally made myself comfortable with the fact that my sweetheart is OK.
JUNE 1, 2010
I woke up, and called him. I thanked God because I was able to hear his voice, the loudest thing in my head. The day went by, by texting with him. He said, he'll spend the afternoon washing clothes. I was laughing at the thought of that. Then around 3:45 pm, I was off to see my dentist. After being treated, i drove to my school's tailoring and mom bought my PE shorts. While waiting, I called him. He said he's going to wash clothes later that afternoon, and then he asked me to hold on for he will ride a motor, going somewhere he didn't mention. He asked me not to end the call, so I didn't. In a short while, I heard a motor behind me. When I looked back, I was shocked and surprised to see him there standing and laughing. I then hugged him tight, feeling him, realizing it's not a dream. Happily, we went to meet mom, who was also as shocked as I am.
WE all went for a road trip to his home.
I don't know how to thank God, above all. For He never gave me a hint, or a feeling that my sweetheart is coming home; He took good care of him as he traveled back; He made me think, that He also surprised me. What an Amazing God we have, and I believe, He just wrote a tiny part of a beautiful love story He writes for the both of us.
Friday, May 14, 2010
The Chosen School
Years ago, when I started studying in an Adventist School, I was a little nervous. Everyone I met was so kind and smiling, but something must have been placed between me and them. Like a line with a "No Trespassing" sign. It occurred to me that they are distant because I am not SDA. Still, in time I made great friends. They taught me of their beliefs contrary to mine, yet I still listen. Others though, would mock me and say insulting words. Those times, I would come to God, crying while praying.
7 years have passed, and I've adapted their teachings. In those years, I tried going to their church on Sabbath, joined outreach and witnessed great sermons with great touching lessons. I then began to doubt the Christian denomination where I belong. I then started reading the Bible and asking questions.
Up to now, I hunger for the Word. I am thirsty of Jesus and I need to be filled with God's love through His Son, and the Holy Spirit. That is why I have chosen AUP, to improve and gain more knowledge of the Creator, who sent His only Son to die for us (John 3:16). I have proven to myself, and everyone that this school has molded me to a better individual, and always will. This institution has taught me to bring all the glory to God, and serve Him.
***
This is an essay writing for the English entrance exam I took yesterday.
7 years have passed, and I've adapted their teachings. In those years, I tried going to their church on Sabbath, joined outreach and witnessed great sermons with great touching lessons. I then began to doubt the Christian denomination where I belong. I then started reading the Bible and asking questions.
Up to now, I hunger for the Word. I am thirsty of Jesus and I need to be filled with God's love through His Son, and the Holy Spirit. That is why I have chosen AUP, to improve and gain more knowledge of the Creator, who sent His only Son to die for us (John 3:16). I have proven to myself, and everyone that this school has molded me to a better individual, and always will. This institution has taught me to bring all the glory to God, and serve Him.
***
This is an essay writing for the English entrance exam I took yesterday.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I have a BIG GOD.
I love this quote," LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE BREATHS YOU HAVE, BUT THE NUMBER OF MOMENTS THAT TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY. "
TODAY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY. call it cliche when people greet you "Have a nice day!"
sure it is!, there is no ugly day, or bad day you may say. Everyday is beautiful, because God has waken you up to take another step to the walk of life.
saying it's ugly comes from your own thinking only, especially if you are disturbed with all the problems, well my friend, WELCOME TO LIFE!
It is not just about existing. It's making it worthwhile. Living for Jesus. Shouting that you are a Christian and that you are worth every nail.
Isn't it wrong to be thankful when you're going through all the trials in life? It's just the perfect way to
experience Him more and know that He will never ever leave you! Isn't that a great realization, to have Him with you forever? In the song "You are Mine," the refrain goes like this:
" Do not be afraid I am with you, I have called you each by name. Come and follow Me, I will bring you home. I love you, and you are Mine."
Sometimes though, when you're high and up, you tend to forget Him. When you're blinded by the wonderful things Life offered, you become forgetful. It's not like that, when you form a relationship with God, it must be strong, and ever faithful. You must thank Him all the time, for everything! Be it a good thing, or a problem. After all, problems are blessings too.
Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. These are the moments that take your breath away, the times of your Life that seemed to high or too Low. Times when you just go on because you know you have a big GOD.
TODAY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY. call it cliche when people greet you "Have a nice day!"
sure it is!, there is no ugly day, or bad day you may say. Everyday is beautiful, because God has waken you up to take another step to the walk of life.
saying it's ugly comes from your own thinking only, especially if you are disturbed with all the problems, well my friend, WELCOME TO LIFE!
It is not just about existing. It's making it worthwhile. Living for Jesus. Shouting that you are a Christian and that you are worth every nail.
Isn't it wrong to be thankful when you're going through all the trials in life? It's just the perfect way to
experience Him more and know that He will never ever leave you! Isn't that a great realization, to have Him with you forever? In the song "You are Mine," the refrain goes like this:
" Do not be afraid I am with you, I have called you each by name. Come and follow Me, I will bring you home. I love you, and you are Mine."
Sometimes though, when you're high and up, you tend to forget Him. When you're blinded by the wonderful things Life offered, you become forgetful. It's not like that, when you form a relationship with God, it must be strong, and ever faithful. You must thank Him all the time, for everything! Be it a good thing, or a problem. After all, problems are blessings too.
Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. These are the moments that take your breath away, the times of your Life that seemed to high or too Low. Times when you just go on because you know you have a big GOD.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
holding on. . .
i am full of love. i know that, it fills me completely with hopes and dreams. with great understanding. with the will to sacrifice and accept pain. with the knowledge of the good and bad. they say, if you want to love a rose, you must have the courage to include the thorns.
and i can feel the thorns scarring me soon..
well it does prepare me to face the separation..
but i love the rose, and will accept it..
after the kiss he might give me before he leaves, it will all be up to him.. i will just wait. .
he may find a girl who can be exactly like me, and divert his attentions to her. ..
but i promise myself to understand him.
he will be very far away, and things can cross his way that will give us both heartaches..
but then, i love him. and i couldn't ask for more.. i just hope he would stay true to me..
as time goes by, we will be used to our temporary alone time.. he has the other part of my heart, wherever he goes.. so when we meet again, we'd be putting it together.. and someday soon will live as one.
i have no regrets of making a choice to fall for him completely. i think of him as my life too.
but i couldn't blame myself to ask him why.. is it necessary for him to leave.. or does he really want to be separated from me, from his family, his friends, his home? is it right to choose to sacrifice alone, than sacrifice together, and keep fighting for our love? well, I DON'T KNOW.
i just respect his choice, cause that's just the way it is.. i just need to keep holding on.. and see how the story goes. . .
and i can feel the thorns scarring me soon..
well it does prepare me to face the separation..
but i love the rose, and will accept it..
after the kiss he might give me before he leaves, it will all be up to him.. i will just wait. .
he may find a girl who can be exactly like me, and divert his attentions to her. ..
but i promise myself to understand him.
he will be very far away, and things can cross his way that will give us both heartaches..
but then, i love him. and i couldn't ask for more.. i just hope he would stay true to me..
as time goes by, we will be used to our temporary alone time.. he has the other part of my heart, wherever he goes.. so when we meet again, we'd be putting it together.. and someday soon will live as one.
i have no regrets of making a choice to fall for him completely. i think of him as my life too.
but i couldn't blame myself to ask him why.. is it necessary for him to leave.. or does he really want to be separated from me, from his family, his friends, his home? is it right to choose to sacrifice alone, than sacrifice together, and keep fighting for our love? well, I DON'T KNOW.
i just respect his choice, cause that's just the way it is.. i just need to keep holding on.. and see how the story goes. . .
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
i have a tale to tell. . .
I was 12 when i first saw him. a boy who was described
as boastful by his friends. i can still remember, he was
my group mate one Filipino class, he called my name,
"iris," and he gestured me to write the answer on the
board. having this shy nature, i just smiled at him,so
he went to board and wrote my answer. Also, one health
class, when i couldn't give a text from the Bible about
one's health, he stood up and helped. My friends who
knew i like him said he was my savior. It was one friday
afternoon when we started texting each other. I was at
the mall with my mom and sister when he asked who i
like. I said i like a 4th year student named "Sho,".
When i asked him who was his, he then replied IRIS. i
asked the last name, and he said ROBEVES. That was the
first time i felt and defined KILIG. and then the next
day, it was sabbath, it was raining and i was in my
room, texting. I asked him something, and he replied "it
developed when i knew u once liked me too." well okay. i
told him i used to like him, well in fact i do super
duper like him when we were txting the day before. And
so, you may say, M.U., or a puppy, incy wincy mutual
understanding. I think it was 3rd grading when i couldnt
put my cellphone down because i was txting with him. My
parents never knew about him. I dont know what happened
when suddenly he stopped txting me. 2 years passed and
we've grown. Well, he has grown. In those years, he was
in love with a great girl i will always admire. In those
years, i was into many boys. My friends said i was
collecting and selecting.
I was 15 when i met this man.
yeah, i think i can call him a man. He had matured a lot
from the first time i saw him. His voice grew deeper,
and he was really really tall. I couldnt explain the
complicated things that happened before ive come to
realize i was in love with him again. In December 2009,
i showed him my heart. At first, i was scared to open
up, but then he embraced me with his love. That boy who
plays well in all sports, basketball and volleyball MVP,
a member of the Young Voices who will sing til Christ
comes, someone who has the passion for Music, who is
smart and good looking, sweet and intimate, someone who
has guts to show up on my 16th birthday, the only one ive
introduced to my parents, someone who i am proud to
have, the one who changed me to a better girl, or lady
you may say, one who made me closer to God,
the love of my life, the one who said he can't be
a complete man without me.
Well, sure this is a love story but the rest is still unwritten. . .
as boastful by his friends. i can still remember, he was
my group mate one Filipino class, he called my name,
"iris," and he gestured me to write the answer on the
board. having this shy nature, i just smiled at him,so
he went to board and wrote my answer. Also, one health
class, when i couldn't give a text from the Bible about
one's health, he stood up and helped. My friends who
knew i like him said he was my savior. It was one friday
afternoon when we started texting each other. I was at
the mall with my mom and sister when he asked who i
like. I said i like a 4th year student named "Sho,".
When i asked him who was his, he then replied IRIS. i
asked the last name, and he said ROBEVES. That was the
first time i felt and defined KILIG. and then the next
day, it was sabbath, it was raining and i was in my
room, texting. I asked him something, and he replied "it
developed when i knew u once liked me too." well okay. i
told him i used to like him, well in fact i do super
duper like him when we were txting the day before. And
so, you may say, M.U., or a puppy, incy wincy mutual
understanding. I think it was 3rd grading when i couldnt
put my cellphone down because i was txting with him. My
parents never knew about him. I dont know what happened
when suddenly he stopped txting me. 2 years passed and
we've grown. Well, he has grown. In those years, he was
in love with a great girl i will always admire. In those
years, i was into many boys. My friends said i was
collecting and selecting.
I was 15 when i met this man.
yeah, i think i can call him a man. He had matured a lot
from the first time i saw him. His voice grew deeper,
and he was really really tall. I couldnt explain the
complicated things that happened before ive come to
realize i was in love with him again. In December 2009,
i showed him my heart. At first, i was scared to open
up, but then he embraced me with his love. That boy who
plays well in all sports, basketball and volleyball MVP,
a member of the Young Voices who will sing til Christ
comes, someone who has the passion for Music, who is
smart and good looking, sweet and intimate, someone who
has guts to show up on my 16th birthday, the only one ive
introduced to my parents, someone who i am proud to
have, the one who changed me to a better girl, or lady
you may say, one who made me closer to God,
the love of my life, the one who said he can't be
a complete man without me.
Well, sure this is a love story but the rest is still unwritten. . .
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)