in the idle hours of the night. . .

Just finished reading the first fifteen chapters of Job. Truly it is comforting and motivating to know that a man like Job endured adversity. I pray that everyone will be like him when tested by trials.

In my present condition, I have learned to know my God even more. I remember a fact pointed out by the speaker at church several Sabbaths ago: "The more we know God, the more we trust Him; and the more we trust Him, the more we seek Him."

In my more-than-a-year of Bible self study, I have known my God maybe not completely, but more than enough to mold myself into the person I am today. Through the dreadful experiences He allowed to come to my life and my family's, I have felt Him working in my life.

And I admit through those experiences, I have been playing chess with the devil, too. He works his ways to put me down and many times do I lose and almost give up. But I let the hands of the Almighty handle; still in my sinful nature, maybe not win against the devil, but standing up after every fall. The game's not over anyway.

I honestly don't know how to thank God for refining me into someone responsible. I feel like I am not a good child to Him. I have always been asking Him to use me, make me wise and give me strength. It has been a prayer to at least direct one lost soul to God, through my efforts, by His grace, His power and His will. And if this happens, surely it will continue all the days of my life. I just want to give back everything to Him and I feel I haven't given much yet.

And with this crisis going on in my life, passing through the hole of the needle in my every day struggles, I can confidently say my God is with me. And what more can I offer, but my service and my life for Him and others.

That's why I'm thankful for the heartbeats and for the breaths each person I know takes, it means that God isn't finished with them too.

I believe this is the turning point of my life: to know God. Because knowing who He is, is already discovering my purpose.